Transylmania [2009]

Graphic Spoof

"Transylmania" is a bad movie with a cast of no-names who hurl themselves at it as if it were auditions week at Juilliard. A graphic spoof of vampire thrillers and college-kids-in-Europe-in-jeopardy horror, it's unfunny and out-of-step. It feels dated, almost quaint, in the post-"Hangover" and "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell" cineplex. Ten college "types" set off for a semester of study at Romania's Razvan University, which is actually a castle where coeds occasionally disappear. RU is run by a dwarf dean (David Steinberg, who pronounces castle "CAST-ull) who has a humpbacked daughter (Irena A. Hoffman). She's been sexting the virginal-but-on-the-make Rusty (Oren Skoog, apparently his real name) after meeting on the Internet.

Rusty is a dead ringer for a long-dead (supposedly) vampire, which his classmates - the brainy one, the stoners, Mr. Bad-in-Bed, the sexpot, the good sister and bad sister, the hustler and '70s hair - think is hilarious until the real vamp wakes up and confusion ensues. South African Musetta Vander ("Kicking & Screaming") rolls her Rs as the resident vampire hunter on campus. An Ava Gardner look-alike, she wields swords and wears her Spandex with verve. C-movie vet Jennifer Lyons flings herself at her character - the daffy, sometimes-possessed-by-a-vampire bombshell Lynne - with the abandon of someone with a lot of direct-to-DVD credits and one shot at showing she deserves better.

Taglines

Transylmania

• Euro-trashed! Euro-smashed! Euro-slashed!
• College kids. The other white meat.

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Trivias

Transylmania

• Transylmania was entirely shot in Romania.